Saturday, July 16

University Avenue

Today I visited the farmer's market on University Avenue.

Still much the same, but 1 new big difference is a retail products stand that I'm guessing is run by Sun Foods (imported produce & treats/drinks).

I stared down the street a couple of times and thought, "This is it. This is its last summer of peace before everything I see goes away. I should come again. A lot more."

Looking the other way, I thought, "Big Daddy's Saturday Barbecue! I still haven't eaten there. And where else did I mean to go each time I said I should come & shop here before it's gone?"

On my way out of the neighborhood, I thought about how I hadn't bought any Big Daddy's because it's out of my food budget. I wondered if I would end up doing all those money-spending activities that it's my "last chance" for. I wondered if there was any point--is a 1x taste of new-to-me, good food worth breaking my budget for?

I missed Art Song's original BBQ shack, apparently--and although there's a sign that reminds me of that all the time--my life is going on despite it. Wouldn't it go on if I never tried Big Daddy's or bought any clothes at one of the tailor shops?

Then I moved on to: What did I do all that protest work for? Was I misguided? 95% of the neighborhood is things I don't & won't spend money on.

Maybe I felt like it was worth working for the 100% to save the 5% I do patronize.

Or maybe I felt like it was worth working for the 100% to save the 10-15% I'd patronize if I lived there (which I have in the past).

Besides the "because what's happening to 'them' isn't fair" part. That was there. I'm trying to reach in and find the "me" that made that particular crusade important.

Photos can't capture it, and my memory's not a steel trap. But maybe I'll meditate on the heat and the wind and the sound and the 3-D and the smell after I finish this post so I can commit it to memory better than I usually do.

Other thoughts as I arrived closer to home:
What the f*** is up with my -isms? I don't "deserve" a lawn and a garden and a lack of retail right outside my bedroom and a convenient bus line (but not right outside my bedroom) all put together any more than anyone else on this earth. But I expect it.

Ditto my job. I doubt we people like me "deserve" a cushy job that makes a neighborhood like that, and a reliable car, possible. But damned if I don't expect it and keep it off the brain most every day. I guess it'd kinda suck not to fit the mold. Maybe the way I didn't fit the mold & felt "under watch" as a corporate secretary; maybe differently. Hm. I don't know where next to go w/ the thought, but it came to me. I guess it's going, now.

Naptime. And ****load of fresh veggies to prep & cook time. Yikes.

P.S. Today is AWESOME!!!! I love heat!!!!!!!!

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