In Reponse To Motherhood Discussions From BFP's Blog

Damn.

This comment by Alara Rogers gave me new words to describe my fear about becoming a mother.

Alara wrote:

I saw the perception that ... if mothers aren’t completely selfless and also perfect then they will ruin their child ...

This is really tied up in with both of my parents', as well as my paternal grandparents' + aunts/uncles', frequent classist statements about childbearing. "There oughtta be a way to require a license to have kids." And the "stupid" people who wouldn't get a license are almost ALWAYS middle-or-lower in class.

Now that I'm doing more leftist readings, I'm learning that most of these behaviors my family members attributed to 100% stupidity, and yet almost always pointed out in poorer people, were more likely 80% influenced by effects of poverty.

BUT, that doesn't provide me a lifetime of positive alternative models to emulate. I just read about poorer people raising kids.

Now I'm looking at having significantly less wealth & income than the rest of my family. I can't see another way about life that I can stand the thought of.

Back to Alara's quote about "ruining" my child...there's this part of me that, thanks to my parent, is aware of the upper-middle-to-upper-class escape from being completely selfless. You pay to have other people help you raise your child "right."

But...society and my parents at large definitely gave me this message that I have to be completely selfless if I'm going to raise children without enough money, to avoid "ruining" them.

Alara also wrote:

I saw the perception that ... if mothers are completely selfless then they are doormats...

So I'm avoiding having any. Damned if I know how to be selfless. (That's the other thing I learned by observation. Not being selfless. The money ensured they didn't have to do that to "not ruin me.")

I've Been A White Woman Playing The Role Of Expert

I realized while reading "Jezebel Circles the Wagons" by Renee over at Womanist Musings that I have been itching to do this lately:

My shoulders are tired of carrying the burden of their outright conceit. How many times has the work of WOC been stolen so that a White woman could play the role of expert?

I've been lecturing my coworker/friend a lot lately. I'm trying not to do it, but I'm really struggling with it this past 3 weeks. A lot. Like...on and on and on w/ ridiculous "expert"-ing in fun conversation at lunch. Gardening, (socioeconopolicital lefty stuff even--watch it!!!), crap I am so not an expert on--just a big collector of knowledge on.

And y'know, I tamp it down because I had enough of a little voice telling me it'd be wrong to bring up stuff I read in blogs written by women of color just because she's a woman of color...

...but now I realize it's a damned good thing I didn't, because it'd have at least 3 reasons for being the wrong thing to do to her. The "this is about you--look!" wrong thing, the "playing the role of expert" thing, and the "stealing the work of WOC" thing. Yeesh.

I plan to take this as a kick in the pants to stop "playing the role of expert" with things I stole. I think that should help me do a lot of the shutting up I've been struggling w/ these 3 weeks, anyway.

Wealth Gap And Jay Z by Blackamazon

Read Wealth Gap And Jay Z by Blackamazon.

Cyborg Manifesto Seems Hard

BFP's proposing book discussions, but wow, "Cyborg Manifesto" is difficult reading.

Without having tried and tried and tried at difficult non-fiction reading for the last 6-7 years, I don't think I'd get through this. I still might not.

But I wouldn't have had a chance if they'd had me reading this in mid-college, with the reading state I was at then.

(Come to think of it, they did assign me stuff this hard in college. And I did suck at finishing & understanding it. This work is really plodding for me. I can't believe some people can be at the place I'm at now by junior year of college. Wow. What amazing reading-brains.)

Where's Aniysah? - Call For Donations ($1+)

I have a call for small donations to a good cause.

Ms. Angeline Hassell needs to get legal help. Her daughter, Aniysah, is in the custody of the man who abused her (Ms. Hassell), and she doesn't feel like her daughter is safe in his full-time custody. Click here for background or read about it at http://documentthesilence.wordpress.com.

Ms. Hassell can't get legal assistance in the area because none of the legal aid offices she's found are taking new cases--no matter how much they feel like the case deserves their help.

Ms. Hassell doesn't want Aniysah to grow up wondering why Mom gave up on the fight and left her in the full custody of someone she felt is abusive (and suspected would abuse Aniysah). She wants to continue to fight to ensure Aniysah's safety, even though she'll have to pay for private legal assistance.


Ms. Hassel is asking for $1 donations.
My note: I'm sure more is welcome if you have it. But $1 is all she's asked for.



Here's how to donate.

Cash donations can be deposited into Chase Bank Account # 861329829
Checks can also be taken into any JP Morgan Chase Bank and checks should be made out to Angeline Hassell Legal, for deposit into Account #861329829.
https://www.chase.com/ccp/index.jsp?pg_name=ccpmapp/shared/assets/page/Branch_Locator


Sorry it can't be done online; I hope it can work for you, though!

Allied Commanders Trafficked Berber Women To Be Raped In Italians' Place

:-(

According to Rick Atkinson's The Day Of Battle, to "fix" the problem of Moroccan soldiers raping Italian women, American army offiicals (Wikipedia gives credit to French ones) decided to "transport" Berber women to Italy and stick them with those rapists.

They trafficked women away from home, into the vicinity of rapists, with the intention of having those rapists rape them.

What a horrific attitude: dividing populations of women into "women we don't so much hate seeing men rape" and "women we hate seeing men rape."

What a horrific attitude.

What a horrific action.
(With effects that probably weren't documented as thorougly as the effects of those soldiers raping Italians was. I think the Berbers then weren't highly literate or centralized. I guess by now, 2010, the effects just have to be...presumed via empathy.)

Where's Aniysah?

Okay, I did think of something I want to write about Aniysah's case.

Short story, as I understand it:

• Aniysah's father abused Aniysah's mother.
  
  
• Aniysah's mother got out, and even got a protective order to get Aniysah's father to have to stay away from both of them.
  
  
• Aniysah's father persistently filed for chances to get that protective order overruled and see Aniysah anyway. This was granted.
  
  
• Aniysah started talking about getting abused and showing physical signs of being abused. Professionals reported this to the court system.
  
  
• Another professional 1) said it was Aniysah's mother who'd been reporting those signs and 2) said they were lies. Aniysah's mother wrote a clarifying letter to a judge, saying that 1) it was professionals, not her, who'd been reporting signs of abuse, and 2) this other professional was, well, behaving unprofessionally.
  
  
• That judge decided that this professional wasn't doing anything uncouth.
  
  
• Aniysah's mom moved out of the state to get Aniysah away from the abuse, since the courts weren't helping her get Aniysah away from it.
  
  
• A judge decided this wasn't cool and granted full custody of Aniysah to the very same father she'd initially told to stay away from Aniysah. I don't know why. I guess...I guess he was really convincing over all the time between when this story as I'm summarizing it started and the point I'm up to now.
  
  
• Aniysah's mother and Aniysah came back to New York City to visit other family, and the police came and took Aniysah away and gave her to ... well, it sounds like it's not 100% clear, but that Aniysah's father certainly has a heck of a lot of access to her right now. (Which seems crazy to me. I mean, he abused her mom so much they initially said stay away from Aniysah; later on there were professionals starting to say that when Aniysah was around him & his family, she was getting abused by someone...yikes.)
  
  
• Aniysah's mother is hanging around New York City, trying to get custody of Aniysah back, or at least trying to make sure that New York won't leave Aniysah in any situation that'll lead to her being abused. But apparently, even the latter isn't proving very fruitful--and she could use help from people to make at least the latter happen, if not the former.

Okay, so maybe it's not much shorter than fuller story explained on Document The Silence and other blogs. Whoops.

Anyway, I hope people will blog her story, write letters to the editor about it maybe? (not sure if that'd be considered welcome by Aniysah's mother or not), show up at the court date (definitely welcome), etc.

Where's Aniysah?

For 27 hours now, I've been wanting to write something about Aniysah & her mother's quest to make sure she stays free of harm and grows up w/ truly good care and love. But I just can't figure it out yet. So there it is--a link to her story.

And I'll throw in that if you're in New York City and you'd like to support Aniysah's mother's struggle, please go to her court hearing on December 22. Directions, etc. at this link.

Thanks.

We Really Need To Up Our Efforts Changing Our Culture

This would be a good reason to work on KEEPING BOYS FROM THINKING THEY'RE ENTITLED TO SEXUAL RELATIONS WHENEVER THEY WANT THEM.

Because here are obviously huge-ass problems with jumping in violently, like that you might kill the boy.

THAT is why "just beat up sexual assaulters" is NOT a good default response from society to the existence of sexual assault.

IT RESULTS IN DEATH.



"Stop people from wanting to do things that are sexual assault" is a BETTER default reponse from society to the existence of sexual assault.

Here are good examples of things that're wrong right now that we could non-violently reduce sexual assault incidents by fixing:

Harriet Jacobs wrote at Figitivus:

What I mean to say is:

The way men and women interact on a daily basis is the way they interact when rape occurs. The social dynamics we see at play between men and women are the same social dynamics that cause men to feel rape is okay, and women to feel they have no right to object. And if you accept those social interactions as normal and appropriate in your day to day life, there is absolutely no reason you should be shocked that rape occurs without screaming, without fighting, without bruising, without provocation, and without prosecution. Behavior exists on a continuum. Rape doesn’t inhabit its own little corner of the world, where everything is suddenly all different now. The behavior you accept today is the behavior that becomes rape tomorrow. And you very well might accept it then, too.

Aaminah Hernandez wrote on FlipFloppingJoy comments:

consent is a good starting point, in so far as “man, did you ASK her and did she give you a clear yes” but we know there’s still lots of room in that. much better to get to the radical “man, why do you even feel compelled to get off by doing that to a woman?”. let’s address why men WANT to do certain things that are hurtful to women, regardless of whether or not women will “let” you do it. that’s not the point. the point is where does the inclination to dominate a woman come from and why is that what makes you “feel like a man”?
...
and yes, i know that opens up a can of worms on the BDSM issue and policing what people get off on, and questionning women’s right to consent to things just because we find them abhorrant. but i think that’s NOT what we are talking about here. ... i think we’re talking about a whole different matter which is men being able to be men, confident in their masculinity, sexually expressive, without it resting on degradation and pain to women (or other men for that matter).

Especially us people w/ time on our hands--let's CHANGE that "daily basis" and that "day to day life" and that basis for boy's and men's masculinity and sexual expressiveness for the boys whose lives we influence. NOW. WIDESPREAD. INTENSE.



Because this boy didn't deserve to die for what he did to the female friend he was traveling with.

"Deserve" isn't even the right word for how I would feel about one punch in response to what he was doing to his friend.

I think he DID deserve a culture / cultures that would, throughout it / them, SUPPORT non-violent lifestyles.



I'll get more active in anti-violence work.

The rest of our boys and girls who are still alive deserve it, and to make what people "deserve" happen, someone's gotta do it.
(Lots of someones. But I'll start w/ me.)

Talking About Sex

I thought of this guy because it was through hanging out with him that I stumbled upon a place to get a lot of exposure to very helpful sexual discussion.

But maybe if my campus newspaper had done what Towson University's campus newspaper did (by the way, I agree w/ SAFER, nice response, Towerlight), I wouldn't have missed out on such discussion even if I'd never met him!

WIC & Produce

What?! $6?
I was going to send "Needy mothers, kids get a new menu from WIC: They'll find healthier options added to federal food program" to Ethicurean.com after I saw the headline.

But reading the article:

A new "produce voucher" covers up to $6 in produce per month per person, or $8 for pregnant women.

What?! Is that all of one's WIC money a person can use on produce?*

It better not be...I really hoped they made it so all the money can be used on produce if you so choose. Produce is so freaking important, and so freaking expensive.

I mean, I've been getting stellar deals on produce this summer...but I can't imagine that it costs me any less than $10 a week to buy what I'm coming to consider healthy quanitites of it.

And they're giving pregnant women only $8 a month??? And that money's only good where the produce is even more expensive than it is where I buy it?!
(Only good at brick-and-mortar stores.)

WTF.

*(If anyone can tell whether the 7 "packages" now all include produce, in addition to there being that "produce voucher," please let me know.)

Please Pray For Donna (And Donate If You Can)

Donna, one of my favorite blog authors, has asked for prayers.
This is why.
I'd recommend sending money, too, if you can. She's said that money sent to Paypal link on the left side of her blog, in the sidebar, under her blogroll, is only accessible by her.

A message to those who have plenty of money to spare:
501(c)3 deductible? Hell, no. Neither prayers nor money. The right thing? Hell, yes.

Thanks.

Quote From BFP

Where’s the news in women being raped? Unless it’s in an african country that has lots of resources?

And more from the same post...

I think this also has a lot to do with “what are the legal ramifications for the nation/state, for private corporations, for individuals, if rape of WOMEN is declared a way to torture?” I mean, I think you’d be hard pressed to find many who would say that rape and sexual violence against men is not torture (because *REAL* men don’t raped, right–it’s the worst of the worst of the WORST thing to do to a man)–but against women–it’s just normal–I mean, I’ve asked myself over and over again, what would have happened if those pictures released in Abu Ghraib were of women–and I know the answer because there WERE pictures released that were of women being raped. They *never* made front page news, and half the people who saw them declared them fakes–the other half didn’t have much of anything to say.

and

The thing *I* want to know: Why do we recognize that Jose Padilla’s detention drove him mad (and yes, I specifically use the gendered terminology of mental illness there), but a woman who lived through many, if not all and more, of the same situations that Jose Padilla did is considered "faking it?"

:(

Nothing to add...just trying to amplify.

Ho. Lee. Sh**. 350 a year in ONE country.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH.

From Liquidate Empire by Chalmers Johnson:

in October 1953, the Japanese and American governments signed a secret "understanding" as part of their SOFA in which Japan agreed to waive its jurisdiction if the crime was not of "national importance to Japan." The U.S. argued strenuously for this codicil because it feared that otherwise it would face the likelihood of some 350 servicemen per year being sent to Japanese jails for sex crimes.

350. A. Year. (Or, as the Economist said, citing Shoji Niihara:)

Why did America fight so hard in 1953 to maintain control of criminal cases involving its boys? The documents do not say, but provide a clue: in numerous settings, American officials express unease that American servicemen commit roughly 30 serious crimes each month.

(Third source.)


AGGH. Crap.

(By the way, although I don't know what they were like in 1953 compared to ours, in 1984, this is what it was like to be in a Japanese prison. Fair. Unlike the "who the hell cares about letting Japanese people convict & punish American rapists?" Status of Forces Agreement.)

Cirila Baltazar Cruz And Action Links To Help Other Mothers

Just keepin' the names Cirila Baltazar Cruz and Rubi Juana Baltazar Cruz on the radar every couple of weeks till November (the next court date that has anything to do w/ the case). You could donate/volunteer for the SPLC or MIRA, by the way, if you want to do something that won't hurt the case while that gag order's on, maybe. (Lawyers working on the case, after all, still get to talk about it to each other...)

Or, for another thing to do between now and November: volunteer and/or raise hell about these issues brought up by BFP:

i hadn’t known about the “offer” to let her be a governess to her own child. thanks for pointing that out. it makes me sick to my stomach–mothers of color are SO good at helping white women reach their full potential as mothers. they even provide a child to practice on and everything!

I also want to say, women caught up in the immigration system ALWAYS have responsibility of the children, if there are any. they are forced to do things like express milk from their breasts to prove they are breastfeeding (in front of gaurds who make mooing sounds at them), they are locked up in small cells with the children (check out hutto prison), they are silenced or kept from protesting while in jail with threats of separation from their children (which has happened–there are several cases of women being deported while the children are left in prison with no caretaker at all–and to add insult to injury, those children often are u.s. citizens who have committed NO crime at all)–there have been *several* cases of women being raped while in front of their children by prison guards in “exchange” for extra bedding or food–and it’s a small thing, but a devastating thing–mothers are often not believed when they say who the father of the child is (i.e. a husband or partner)–and children are thrown into foster care until “paternity” can be established. and none of this gets into the abysmal way *pregnant * women are treated.

All of these things–including more, are regular experiences of mothers going through immigration. I think it’s important to point out so that we don’t only support women like Cirila–but so that we also ask the right questions and support the right answers (and organizations–because trust me, not all immigration orgs are as connected to the community as MIRA is) as the U.S. begins to confront “immigration”–as Barack Obama et al have promised to do in the next year.

With respect to Ms. Baltazar Cruz's case, please keep in mind the following comments by AnonymousCoward (1,2,3):

As terrible as this situation is, contacting the presiding judge is not the appropriate course of action. Your letters, calls, faxes, and other communications will go completely unheeded, as the judge is ethically obliged to ignore them.
...[citations]...
With that in mind, I think donating to SPLC or writing letters to the editor of the Clarion-Ledger would be more productive. Citizens of Mississippi may want to consider writing their representatives in the state legislature to encourage them to explicitly condemn the actions of CPS and pass legislation to make this action clearly illegal.

(emphasis mine)

I’d just hate to see this case get prolonged because the “foster” parents find out about the flurry of letters and raise the issue on appeal, claiming that the judge should have been recused or something.
...
If you want to put pressure on someone in this case to make them consider doing the right thing, you should be pressuring the parties (apparently the Department of Human Services), not the court. You’ll just annoy the clerk of court, frustrate yourself, and arm your opponent with grounds for appeal.

Here’s the contact information for DHS, obtained from Shakesville.

Children’s Justice Act Program
MS Dept. of Human Services
750 North State Street
Jackson, MS 39202
(601) 359-4499

Ex parte communications are not limited to factual matters. Ex parte communications are *not permitted* unless explicitly authorized, for things like administrative matters, emergencies (TROs, for instance), speaking with court personnel, or asking disinterested legal scholars with notice to both parties and the opportunity to respond. Notably excluded from that list is: “angry members of the general public.”

A judge isn’t permitted to discuss (including listen to) their own family on how a case should be handled; what makes you think it would be appropriate for them to factor in the opinions of the general public? I’d refer to this as a “question of justice,” but it’s not even really a question – judges interpret and apply law, not the views of the general public, no matter how outraged that public may be.

As I said before, contacting the parties, writing letters to the editor, or supporting SPLC are appropriate reactions. Attempting to sway the court proceedings via unethical direct contact with the judge won’t be effective, and might create grounds for appeal if the judge ultimately rules against the “foster” parents.

Another thing you can do between now & November, besides following AnonymousCoward's suggestions, is to help this other mother whose child the state has unjustly kept away from her.

Get Mad That The Rape Occurred. And Stop There.

WOW, do people have their priorities out of wack.

YOU PEOPLE who are berating this girl's family: STOP IT.

Just STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT.

Your own families, if not you, are just as bad. TRUST ME. They are. In some way or another. You'll figure it out one day.

So LAY THE HECK OFF that family and get yourselves and your media railing against:

the actual crime and the socio-economic factors that may have contributed to the horrific incident.

Conservative Clothing on Women

Sarkozy's mean comments I read here reminded me an analogy that suddenly occurred to me as I passed two women yesterday, one of whom was wearing an outfit that completely covered her face and the shape of her body.

Touch.

I feel private about most people in the world knowing, from experience, just exactly what it's like to feel me. And I think many people in my social circle have met people who don't even like a brief hug. Who feel like they want most people to have even less directly experienced idea of what they feel like.

But neither I nor those people want to be anonymous human beings in the world at large. We want people to know who we are! We do want people to know what we sound like! The more opinion-sharing of us want people to know what we think! When people's senses detect us, we want people to recognize who we are and what we sound like and all those things we've shared about ourselves (like what we think). It's just to certain ways of sensing us that we want to be unknown to most people.

And why? I can't speak for everybody, but for me, it's because I associate a certain amount of potential for inappropriate sexual vibe with people knowing what I feel like to the touch.

Maybe I can somehow make people like my mother (who's made mean comments to me about some women's conservative clothing) and Sarkozy get that just because someone also associates a certain amount of potential for innappropriate sexual vibe with people knowing what they look like to the eye doesn't mean that they're trying to be unknown and unrecognizeable/unrecognized to people's other senses.

(And with respect explaining to the gender division of people's clothing choices:
I think there's a sexual behavior double-standard in my culture that is wrong, and that men should be expected to be more sexually conservative than they are. But holding that belief myself doesn't mean I'm going to go out and act the way I see men expected to act. I'm still going to act as I think is best for all (men and women). So Mom, Sarkozy, etc: never assume presume to know a woman's ideas about the appropriateness of her culture's gendered clothing assignments just because she happens to wear more conservative clothing than men in her culture are expected to wear. Not unless you'd like to see me start sleeping around just to prove a philosophical point.)

Call To Action: Demand Mississippi Reunite Mother & Baby Daughter!

BFP broke the story into my sphere.
BA sliced my heart, which helped me act:

Poor women shouldn't have anything rich people want.

including children.

PLEASE DO THIS:

Request for Action from the Mississippi Immigrant Rights Alliance (MIRA):

Cirila Baltazar Cruz gave birth to her baby girl in November of 2008 at Singing River Hospital in Pascagoula, MS. She speaks very little Spanish and no English, as her native language is Chatino, an Indigenous language from Oaxaca, Mexico that is spoken by some 50,000 people.

The hospital provided her with an “interpreter” who is from Puerto Rico and does not speak Chatino, the language of the mother. Because of the language barrier and the misunderstanding by the hospital’s interpreter who only spoke Spanish and English, a social worker was called in.

The hospital’s social worker reported “evidence” of abuse and neglect based on the following:

* The “baby was born to an illegal [sic] immigrant;”
* The “mother had not purchased a crib, clothes, food or formula.” (Most Latina mothers breast feed their babies).
* “She does not speak English which puts baby in danger.”

Ms. Baltazar Cruz’s baby was snatched from her after birth at the hospital and given to an affluent attorney couple from the posh Ocean Springs who cannot have children.

The authorities made no effort to locate an interpreter in her native tongue. MIRA located an interpreter who is fluent in Chatino in Los Angeles CA and has interviewed the mother extensively with the interpreters help. The mother has been accused of being poor and not being able to provide for this child. No one has asked the mother to provide evidence of support. She owns a home in Mexico and a store which provides both secure shelter and financial support, not counting the nurturing of a loving family of two other siblings, a grandmother, aunts, uncles and other extended family.

Meanwhile, there is word in the Gulf Coast community that the “parents to be,” have already had a baby shower celebrating the “blessed arrival” of this STOLEN child!

PLEASE MAKE CALLS & WRITE LETTERS DEMANDING THE SAFE RETURN OF BABY & REUNITE WITH HER MOTHER

If you believe this is unjust and outrageous and goes against all moral and religious beliefs and values, please call or write to the presiding Judge and the MS Department of Human Services to STOP this ILLEGAL ADOPTION! Stealing US born babies from immigrant parents is a growing epidemic in the United States. Many Latino parents have lost their children this way!

Honorable Judge Sharon Sigalas
Youth Justice Court of Jackson County
4903 Telephone Rd.
Pascagoula, MS 39567
(228)762-7370

Children’s Justice Act Program
MS Dept. of Human Services
750 North State Street
Jackson, MS 39202
Call (601)359-4499 and ask for Barbara Proctor

For more information please call MIRA at: (601) 968-5182

MIRA Organizing Coordinator
Victoria Cintra at (228) 234-1697 or Organizer Socorro Leos at(228) 731-0831

What I ran into and what I was able to do:

I got forwarded to a voicemail (note--the names on that machine aren't Honorable Judge Sigalas's name--but I was told it's the correct machine) at 228-762-7370 and left a message, rambling as it was, stating reasons I didn't think Ms. Baltazar Cruz's case was abuse or neglect and thought she must be allowed to raise her baby.

Someone asked who was calling for Ms. Proctor at 601-359-4499, and I gave my name but said she wasn't expecting a call. Then I was asked what I was calling about, and I said I wanted to weigh in on the issue of Ms. Baltazar Cruz's baby. She said they'd "already received calls" on that and were "working on" it. At that I asked if I could simply leave a message--that I thought Ms. Baltazar Cruz's baby should be returned to her--and asked if I could have that message taken down. She said okay to that.

Detainee Rape Photos

I got caught up in my anger about the kind of country I live in when I posted this and forgot to mention that although I don't want any "Detainee Photos Protection Act of 2009" passed, I also don't want the photos themselves released w/o consulting the victims...and...I'm willing to have them not released if the victims can't be found.

I know that enables the government to lie about why they're not releasing them...

...but if they lie on a premise of what I truly consider decent (protecting victims) rather than lying on a premise of what I don't consider a good enough reason to withhold the photos (protecting perpetrators and those who've been put in a position by the government to continue to perpetrate if they so choose)...I'd settle for that world.

Thanks for reminding me, BA, Joan, & Cara.

I'm reading a book about European female immigrants to the United States.

So far it's really good.

Sly Civilian once wrote:

Where do we recognize our own Whitenesses...as a source of idenity?

I hope to find some ways to tie my own childhood experiences and the people in my childhood to my current beliefs. Since my childhood was happy, ideally, I should be able to be the best person I can be in this world if I do that, right?

I guess I'm hoping that if I read about all the same things I see on promigrant.org and vivirlatino.com and such, only lived by people who looked like me (and bore at least some of my family), I'll somehow be able to be a better person than if I just read about immigrant experiences with little cultural connection to the people who were around me in my childhood.